OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize
