I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
it's like heaven, but drunker
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The uberlube is also flammable
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
