I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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