We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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