Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
