Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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