'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Don't EVER smell your tampon
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
