Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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