Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
