i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
