Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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