does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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