but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
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