so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
PANTIES FOUND
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