you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
