wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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