I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
