Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Is Oprah even human
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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