I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
