i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
