I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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