Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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