I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
