Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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