Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
