So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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