Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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