She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
