I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
