Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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