I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
