oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
