I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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