I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
