I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
