Got a toothbrush?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
