no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
