we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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