he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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