seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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