You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
