Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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