making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
