Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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