If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
