6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
