You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
