I like to think it a success when the cops are called
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
