If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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