either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
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