If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
