i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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