i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
