Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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