My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
We need to rekindle our bromance
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
