this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
