im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
wow bdsm is so cute
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