playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
