he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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