Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
