i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
