whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
