Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
