Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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