dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
