She's like a pop up book from hell.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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