That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
