Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize