She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
well, you know. whores of a feather.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
