She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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