Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
