the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
