That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
im holly from the hills drunk
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
